... etonic's journey ...
Thursday, June 30, 2005
m blogging in skool now...well...i muz sae tt yes was a great dae 4 me...had a ice-cream party in my company yes due 2 100% occupancy 4 continous 3 days...tot i cldnt attend due 2 e working hrs...but end up i went...coz we took turns...was hagen daz's ice-cream...eat lyk 4 scoops even though had my lunch not long ago...mayb i juz haf sweet tooth 4 all these...haha...had brownies n cakes 2...hope dere will b so much more party...but i still prefer venezia's one...had it e dae b4 when was out wif jia they all...hahaafter work went back 2 skool 2 meet up wif my classmates...as in e usual ones lah...luckily juz nice 5 pple n alan drove us 2 town...it's dunno my dunno how many times taking his car...he drive so steadily n oso play song so loud...but was so fun...haha...met up wif e rest at wheelock nydc 2 haf our dinner...erin came soon...n a total of 10 of us...joey sae 1 thing tt is so true...half of e pple sitting at her side all eat spagetti n my side all eat baked rice...lolx...had a great luff yes wif them...miss them so much...n thanz 2 alan i guess...since he's alwae e one making every1 luff...n it's been so long since im so happie...slacked at starbucks as usual...n every1 is bcuming more n more lame as time goes...adeline n irwan sae i've bcum so much skinner now...but i dun tink so ba...mayb juz need time or dere r wormies in me...haha
cant wait 4 tis sat oledi...coz finallie...im going 2 chinablack!!!n yesh...juz hope tt every1 will rem 2 bring their ic...n oso dun last min pang seh or wat...newae i tink all will go since dere will b free entry tis whole month even 4 guys...coz of their anniversary n stuffs...haha...hope can get 2 c so many frenz dere since it's a sat...but praying dere will b no queue...it's been a long time since i chiong...last time shd b chris's bdae at zouk if not mistaken ba...lolx...newae dunno if sat got e energy 2 ton out not...coz m working in e morning n got so much program on sat...gonna collaspe real soon le...haha...juz miss all my beauty sleep
finallie noe wat model of tt samsung hp is oledi...it's e720...n my mum didnt manage 2 change it...so sad...luckily my dad went...n his character yah...so in e end manage 2 get a free usb port tt can transfer frm hp 2 lappy...which is so much better i tink...so shd b changing e hp wif mum over e weekends ba...juz cant bear 2 delete away e sms n mms...but i belief if things r fated...even if i delete...they will b back...if reallie not fated...den yah...u guys shd noe...=/
-48 more days 2 go-
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
i h8 tt 2pid handphone company...paid 400 for tt samsung phone...they told me got infarred but no...luckily didnt change phone wif my mum yet coz cant bear 2 delete all my sms yeah...plus it's gonna b so troublesome 2 add users again...so thanz god...tink gonna stick back 2 my x400...haha...mum's gonna change e phone 2 k700i 2molo...ask her 2 nag e person lyk hell n pay me back e money...mk sure they do...if not im gonna sue them...lolx...heng mom's gonna return me e money sometime soon...coz i paid all n bank lyk 0 le...hahanewae went out wif jia yao agnes n ash after attachment 2dae...juz lyk 2 c jia n agnes toking...coz agnes will b e 1 scolding vulgarities 4eva n jia will b e 1 4eva scolding her...it's juz so funnie...haha...though didnt stay out long but we still had a great time out rite??managed 2 update each other's life...n agnes is so fierce 2wards her classmates...oh my tian
luving sum1 is so easy but being luv is so diff...e feeling of luving sum1 is so hard when u cant get tt person...n e feeling of being luv is juz so great but hard 2 get...y does luv tis word alwae haf 2 cause so much trouble?? overluv = mk mistake = treasure...haixx
50 more days 2 go...
Monday, June 27, 2005
to all my dear frenz out dere...thanz so much 4 e company u guys haf gif me...m trying 2 cure step by step...emotional/mentally will tk quite long...so curing my physically now...didnt even haf a single bite yes coz no appetite...but no worrie k...had my dinner 2dae at work...2dae sleep recover a bit betta...not as jialat as pass few days...thanz 2 yiyao e most coz she reallie companied me these few days...even juz now after my work...thanz 4 e drink 2 yao n ash...oh yah...n ash used e servets 2 mk into a rose...n yes...it juz so nice...yao ask her 2 gif me n it did cheer me up...it's so thoughtful of them...thanz againmum keep asking me 2 buy new jeans coz she cant stand e sight of me wearing those oledi...it's juz 2 lose...will find them 2 go out shop ba...but spore sales end le...so lyk 2 late...didnt even shop during sales...im so dumb...newae cant wait 2 get new jeans 4 myself n mayb skirts oso since she sae image does affect so much...plus office lady haf 2 dress up more appropriate oso...mum sae my new bag dun suits me at all...look so auntie 4 me...sae gif her carry den rite...yah will gif her when i buy a new wan tt looks younger ba...newae tis bag is so mao mao...mk until all e clothes i wear oso bcum mao mao le...mum's gonna haf a hard time washing all those little hair...
common test r round e corner le...so 2 my luv ones...my dear fellow frenz...n hueva out dere...study hard n score gd grades k...while i gotta rush my fyp le...m still far behind...plus i got so much imcomplete things 2 do tt i've plan...working schedule got cock up lyk hell now...colleagues r lyk killing me coz keep changing my schedule...sorrie abt tt
it's exactly 51 more days...3 x 17 days 2 go tt i've 2 complete sumthing...cant let other things spoil tis plan oledi...m waiting 4 e stock 2 arrive asap so tt i can work on it immediately...juz hope tt i can finish in time coz it'll tk quite a period of time 2 do it...haf spend a huge sum of money recently so now gotta save up so tt i can still mk it 4 a certain trip...=))
Sunday, June 26, 2005
time passes so slow nowadays...cant slp at all...onlie slept 4 lyk 6hrs these 3 days...physically m so worn out but metally juz stop me frm slping...cant stop thinking...cant stop crying...cry till my eyes turned so dry...y do things haf 2 turned out lyk tt...if dere's juz tis 1 more chance...things will definitely changed...i'll treasure it no matter wat it takes me 2 do oledi...went out wif yiyao yes...tok everything out 2 her...thanz 4 e console gal...i tot it helps me lots...but end up was juz bcoz i dun wanna let u c me cry...cried on e bus on my way back n oso at hm...if e church thing u sae can reallie mk my wish cum true...i seriously dun mind going dere every week n pray n mk tis wish cum true
read joey's blog...thanz lots...can reallie c u r veri worried 4 me esp tt dae...sorrie but i teared in office now...cant ctrl myself...but haf 2 disappoint u...dun scold me if i cry in front of u again when we meet up...dun scold sean nemore...tis all started frm me afterall...sorrie 2 disappoint u...but i cant pull myself up oledi...haf fallen into e deepest ground...cant b lyk last time...all my hyperness n everything is gone...onlie 1 thing can heal me now...n u shd noe...thanz 4 e things u've done 4 me...felt so pai seh 2 let u c me in tt situation tt dae...treasure ur r/s well k...=))
tried occupying myself 2 e max i could...but still tink of it...mind kp tinking of him non-stop...even if juz going 2 town reminds me of e time we spend in every part it...my mind is gonna go crazy so soon...need lotsa pple company now...but juz dun wanna trouble them...crying doesnt cure me at all...tried 2 hold it back veri strongly but it juz haf 2 b lyk tt...dun haf nemore aim in my life...m seeing 1 day n live 1 day as it goes...juz hope tt he will cum back 2 me...despite wateva it takes...even if 2 gif up my job n stuffs...coz cant even concentrate when im working...haf been making mistakes evensince marche incident...m reallie sorrie 4 tt...juz wan back ur forgiveness n u...
if u r trying 2 kp urself occupied so much...pls dun do tt...dun wanna c u tired urself out...noe u got veri gd frenz out dere 2 company u...but it hurts 2 c u lyk tt...dun overstrain urself in track...ur leg havent fully recover afterall...juz hope tt when u get ur licence...i'll still b e 1st person 2 tk tt ride...wun call or sms u so often...will tried all i can 2 control myself...coz i dun wan u 2 get irritated by me again...will ask my frenz not 2 pester u oso...dun wanna mk tis thing go worse...all e memories will b in me 4eva...esp all e sweet memories...hotels night safari our bdae chinese garden etc...thanz
-down-
-lost-
Saturday, June 25, 2005
dunno wat's wrong wif me nowadays...attitude getting frm bad 2 worse...m alwae taking pple 4 granted...mayb tis is e result of wat i shd get...firstly...muz reallie thanz joey lian tee n elsyne...m so touch wif e care n concern u all given me...esp 2 joey...didnt expect u 2 travel all e way down 2 c me...didnt wanted ne1 2 c me in tis kind of stage...guess it's e 1st time u c me so down ba...but im oledi trying my bez 2 b strong...but my mind body n everything dun wanna work wif me...lian tee called early in e morning juz 2 ask if i was okie...reallie big thanz 2 u 2...newae havent even sae 1 sentence 2 her n i cried...mum came out juz nice n ask y i cried...noe i couldnt hide nemore...so juz told her...n she insisted of me 2 tell her e whole thing...got sae n scolded by her...she sae i deserve it...alwae tk sean 4 granted instead of treasuring him...cant ctrl my tear even when toking 2 mum...she sae sean is clever...she deserve a even betta gal den me...i noe tt alwae in my heart...he'll b my last...tried my veri bez 2 move on...but i failed...tried 2 b strong...failed...do not haf nemore aim in my life nowsean : sorrie but i juz cant let go...u tot me nv 2 gif up so easily n i did...but was 2 late...our character seemed 2 swap totally now...might b coz we haf influence each other so much in e past...i noe wateva im gonna do...no matter how i'll change...u sae dere's no turning back oledi...reallie hope tt doesnt cum frm e bottom of ur heart...juz wish tt time could stop when i was at ur place yes...regret is wat im feeling now n i noe i seriously deserve all these...reallie hope tt i could juz haf tt 1 single chance...pple do mk mistakes in life lyk u sae...2 4get n 2 4gif but i dun get ne...mayb ur hatred 4 me haf covered e luv u used 2 had 4 me...no matter hu's gonna b ur gf in e future...i juz hope tt u'll nv 4get me...thanz 4 everything...take care...ilu
Sunday, June 19, 2005
let's c...where shall i start wif 1st...mayb fri...-17/06-
i supposed tis will b e last 17 i'll celebrate...
went jb wif jock n fiona...was a rather fun outing n luckily we didnt get lost on our way...went 2 city square n oso holiday plaza...kind of headache coz of e no. of pple dere...dunno wat's wrong wif malaysian tt dae...damn courteous n nice 2 us...wanted 2 had seafood 4 our dinner so ask e pple 2 recommend...was told 2 go 2 da ma...n so we met tis guy call ah boy...he was veri nice yah...got private car 2 drive pple in n out of spore...newae ended up we had more lyk a zhu cao 4 our dinner...e food was okie onlie...not as gd as e 1 i had during my genting trip...lolx...bought quite a few things back...finallie got myself a black pants...yeah...smuggle 1 whole box of chewing gums back...so was kind of scare when entering e custom...luckily they onlie check on guys n not gals...if not i can stay dere 4eva...haha...worst part was waiting 4 e bus back 2 spore...we waited 4 more den 1++ hrs...n ended up i took dunno how many buses back 2 town n change cab...reached hm e latest among all of them...lolx
-18/06-
went sentosa wif few of my classmates yes...tis claz is getting frm bad 2 worse...esp e guys...chris msg all of them but onlie 4 replied...so nez time dun sae we didnt call u guys or wat but u all deserved it...chris was so xin fu yes i muz sae...he was e onlie guy n wif lyk 6 gals...haha...yes sun was damn gd...finallie managed 2 tan but shoulder is kind of pain now...celebrated joey's bdae at harbourfront...though it's juz a small little cake...but hope u'll lyk it...will b waiting 4 u 2 upload e pix...lolx
-19/06-
kylie is so 2pid...she shd haf listen 2 her frenz 2 stay at hm 2dae...instead of going down 2 sumwhere else...it's 2 late 2 regret now though...her hands will contain blood 4eva tt she cant wash it away...sumthing she adore since young...sumthing tt she find it cute all e while...n now she had it but it's totally gone...i noe joey is gonna scold me after reading tis again...but yah...didnt haf nething 4 e whole dae oledi...n nowadays onlie had lunch n tt's it...juz dun haf e appetite 2 eat nemore...2 4get n 2 4gif is sumthing reallie hard 4 every1 2 do...tried my veri bez...2 but bad...i failed...every1 does haf dere their own limits n will angry 2...newae it's all over now...nothing 2 grieve over nemore...
-sign off-
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
haf been sick 4 e pass 2 days le...esp on mon...so sian...got diarrhoea when im working...yes reach hm reallie late coz walk ard some places tt im not even familiar wif...m so scare tinking back now...got so many bangala walking pass me...ended up got tis malay adult ard 40++ i guess...approach me...m so scare coz was reallie dark oledi...plus got lost on my way...he ask me 4 money n cum out wif all excuses...couldnt get ne1 help coz dere's onlie 2 of us along e path...juz tell him i got no money n havent even eat yet...luckily he didnt do nething...juz walk awaydidnt haf a gd slp last nite...so many things haf happened recently...ups n downs...cant handle it nemore...mayb e walk did help afterall...got totally drenched on my way 2 work tis morning...even my colleagues oso ask if i juz got a shower...was pouring reallie heavy but didnt bring nething 2 shelter myself...catch a cold immediately once i start work...was feeling reallie cold inside...flu approached soon oso...got myself a hot tea juz hoping tt wun mk me suffer even worse...but falling sick might help lots sometimes...dun wanna tink of nething else oledi...not even attachment...mayb working will b mine main focus now...once i got sufficient money...will go 4 a holidae...dere's 2 much things 4 me 2 accept now
congrats tt all ur confidence r back...u let me realise how useless m i...thanz 4 everything...
Sunday, June 12, 2005
went out wif secret 6 2dae...xcept tt anne pang...lolx...was so damn fun hanging out wif them man...it's been a long time since we had such gathering...shop here n dere n oso slack at coffee club...bought a small little piece of cake 4 yasi 4 her advanced bdae...haha...dunno y agnes got so excited n she accidentally spilled n broke yasi glass of mocha...was kind of attract attention...but was funnie though coz jia was e suay one 2 kanna everything...lolx...agnes lyk so rich lyk tt...2dae buy so much things...esp frm espirt...thanz 2 yasi...haha...finallie found e type of bag i wanted but was kind of x...so m going 2 jb 2 look 4 it n get e cheapest one...lolx...cant wait 4 wed 2 cum coz secret 6 is gonna meet up again n go ktv 2gether...yeah!!!but sumhow we r so disappointed wif wat anne sae abt we dun wan jero 2 go...dunno wat's wrong wif her lah...even wanna get engaged b4 jero go ns...she's out of mind...haha...looking 4ward 2 wed...=))
Saturday, June 11, 2005
-yes-met up wif les after work yes...it's been a reallie long time since we went 2gether le...tink e previous was shao bin bdae...oh my tian...was supposed 2 haf seafood 4 our dinner but jia n celest couldnt eat coz of infection n sickness...so juz haf long john silver...dun lyk 2 it ljs but luckily we ate afterall...coz went 2 club after tt...haha...was so damn funnie abt e vodka we ordered...lian tee n i kept saeing we can taste e vodka n e rest sae it's damn diluted...ended up all was truth coz e bartender didnt mix e drink well...lian tee 1 was e strongest so i took hers...n dee dee mix mine wif those diluted ones n they share...coz e rest cant reallie drink...e pub was dxo at esplanade dere...nice place 2 chill out man...tis will b les chilled out place nez time le...plus got free flow of tidbits...we ate so much...so pai seh...haha...den kp taking pix...got 1 photographer came n took a few pix of us...juz got those pix online...n yes...we look so cute...haha...gonna go china black or zouk when shao bin cum back...finallie les will haf full force le...yeah!!!
-2dae-
went out wif 1 of my colleagues 2 jb...was kind of scare at 1st coz shahidah is younger den me...plus 2 of us oso galz...but gd thing she's a malay n oso noe e place well...she brought me ard n we shop lyk hell man...was so fun...haha...i bought 1 pair of sandals n oso a shirt...finallie man...was so damn cheap over dere...muz thanz her...lolx...wanted 2 get tis bag tt i've looked 4 so long le...but was super x...haixx...so sad...haf been searching in spore 4 so long oso cant find...n when i managed 2...price juz turn me off...lolx...newae we took tis bus dere n back...was so comfy man...nez time muz go back dere 2 shop...cant wait le...haha
spore sales haf oledi started 4 quite some time n i've yet 2 even shop man....muz hurry shop b4 it ends if not i'll cry...lolx...mon will b working frm 8-6 n will b free after tt...ne1 free??i wanna go marina n suntec area 2 shop...coz kind of sian of town oledi...or malaysia oso can...haha
Thursday, June 09, 2005
2dae is 69...haha...im refering 2 e date lah...wat r u guys tinking ah...so nutty...lolx...2dae is oso e release of mr n mrs smith...cant wait 2 watch le...mayb shd watch nez fri rite guys??since it'll b so much cheaper...haha...haf been staying at hm 4 e pass few days oledi...guess not sick oso bcum at sick...can reallie kill me man...i h8 2 stay at hm...luckily juz now went out wif tripod...juz walk ard tok tok den go hm le...coz chris pang seh us...go meet fiona...haha...but nvm lah...attach life is lyk tt...plus still honey moon period mah...treasure e time yah...but dun alwae pang seh us...lolx...nez 1 will b owen le...mo mo ren cuming back 2 spore reallie soon...n joey alwae pang seh so no need 2 mention...lyk now njoying herself in m'sia...haha...dun 4get 2 buy stuffs 4 us ah...hahastarting 2 get back my happiness these few days le...haf been struggling real hard earlier on...finallie letting go of everything now...wat i need 2 focus now is frenz work n attachment n tt's all i guess...nothing seems 2 b more important den those nemore...will start 2 save up lotsa money so tt i can go japan asap...tink my jap frenz haf been waiting 4 me since sec 4...haha...n yes dreamt tt i migrate 2 japan...life dere was so gd...so relax...juz kp looking at those cute little jappie...haha...juz hope my sweet dreams will cum through afterall...japan...i'll b dere...haha
Monday, June 06, 2005
sat went out wif jock 2 chill out...actuallie main purpose was me n joey go shopping...but guess we met up 2 late hor...haha...n tt owen cheng was 1 hr late...wanna strangle him le...chilled out at tcc n e cheesecake was not as nice as e 1 at millenium walk...e chocolate cake not nice...yux...lolx...was reallie fun 2 chilled out them...but e nez time we meet up muz b some time soon n oso earlier...coz i wanna go shopping b4 great singapore sales end...haha
Saturday, June 04, 2005
m blogging now at my workplace...suppose 2 b a off dae 4 me 2dae...but 1 of my colleagues is sick so cum n replace her...newae im hourly paid mah so it doesnt mk a diff...haha...m so used 2 working life...dunno when last sem cum can get used 2 studying not...plus nez sem haf 2 overload tt 2pid pm...haixx...juz hope im able 2 continue working nez sem...juz luv my colleagues here...n sean loh...im gonna break my promise...not gonna quit tis job juz coz of u...not gonna b tt 2pid nemore...u can haf ur own wae...i can haf mine 2...when im so down n trying so hard 2 do things 2 kp myself busy...u out dere...go 4 chalet n njoy urself...but wateva it is now...we r not connected oledi...so dun bother finding xcuses 2 tok 2 ur frenz or wat...coz u r still gonna listen n follow wat they sae...since u lyk ur frenz advice so much...go married 2 them or wateva lah...u can 4get abt 17th 4eva...esp tis mth...coz i'll b going sumwhere...bye!!!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
dunno how 2 describe e feeling in me now...m feeling so lost n sad...n i reallie mean it...trying real hard 2 find out e real reason y all these things r happening 2 us now...tink e truth is more likely u haf sum1else in ur heart rather den telling me wat others tell u tt u shd do...if lyk tt...u haf oledi listen 2 them long time ago n not now...worse is u alwae listen 2 others n nv me...we juz dun fit 2 b 2gether nemore though we haf broke up long time ago...wanted 2 tell u how much i wanted 2 go hong kong wif u yes on e phn...haf been saving up lots eversince i worked...but i juz dun get e chance 2 sae all these...u've change...totally changed 2 another person hu doesnt even care how i feel nemore...can c juz frm ur msn nick nowadays wat u want e most rite now...guess frm now onwards...we'll juz remain as wat we r now...e war haf juz started yes n i belief it'll nv end...all e plans will b cancelled den...u juz njoy urself over tis weekend n i noe u will...dere's nothing more 4 me 2 sae now...except 2 wish u n e 1 hu haf stole ur heart away frm me all e bez...n as 4 me...im gonna look 4 e 1 hu's gonna steal my heart away frm u!!!finallie i understand y u sae u dun mind us being as far as strangers as long as we remain as frenz...well...tk care den...-sign off-
<--her world-->
~!~!~!~kY|iE~!~!~!~
.29th jan 1986.
.code: #03.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.i choose 2 luv in silence.
.4 in silence i find no rejection.
.i choose 2 luv in ur loneliness.
.4 in ur loneliness no 1 owns but
me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.nv luv a luv tt hurts.
.nv hurt a luv tt luvs.
.she desires.
.prada wallet + bag.
.b a trader.
~her memories~
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she reads...
everyone screams!!!